Always my favorite because the “External inertial dampener” IS A SPACE VERSION OF A FUCKING PARKING BREAK.
GDI PIKE these young fresh academy kids do not get your awesome jokes.
from the original script:
I LITERALLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND PEOPLE WHO DONT SAY THANK YOU TO PEOPLE WHO HOLD THE DOOR LIKE THAT PERSON WASTED A FEW SECONDS OF THEIR LIFE FOR YOU THAT THEY WIILL NEVER GET BACK THEY PROBABLY COULDVE DRANK A FEW MORE SIPS OF THEIR FAVORITE DRINK, READ A FEW MORE LINES OF THEIR FAVORITE BOOK, HAD A FEW MORE GOOD WORDS WITH THEIR BEST FRIEND AND THEY WASTED THOSE SECONDS ON YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT NEXT TIME SOMEONE HOLDS THE DOOR SAY THANK YOU I AM SO MAD
YOU CANT CHANGE THE VOLUME OF THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD
FUCKING TRY I DARE YOU
ITS IMPOSSIBLE AND ITS REALLY FUCKING WITH MY MIND SOMEONE HUG ME
I CAN MAKE IT SCREAM WITHOUT GETTING LOUDER
H E L P
Holy shit whispering is the same volume as shouting as loud as I can
what have you done
We think in concepts
Concepts have no volume
Because a thought is the loudest silence of all.
whoa there socrates
when you’re out with your friends and someone really hot walks by
imagine if girls used the same style of joke to degrade men like “cool story bro now go chop some lumber”GO CHOP SOME LUMBER
"what r u doing out of the garage go fix my car"
"Don’t you have something to fix somewhere."
get some duct tape & fix that attitude
Don’t you have some jars you could be opening?
and let’s take a moment to appreciate the fact that michaelangelo had probably never seen a girl naked and when he want to sculpt or paint them his mentality seems to be “wow, everyone likes women….they must be like…..buff dudes. i love buff dudes. women are buff dudes but with little chest lumps and no wiener”
And my personal favorite, Adam and Eve
he literally painted adam and steve
you know that thing where you scrunch up your arms and it looks like you have only hands well this one time when i was little i kept it up for 3 days no matter where i was
one time i also pissed off my entire family for 3 days
the last picture i cANT BREATHE
is he ok
an angel girl whose girlfriend is a demon and at first they don’t want anybody to know but then god is like “my child do not worry about it it’s , as the kids are saying these days, “what ever”’ but satan is like “do I know this girl. let me meet her. is she a bad influence?” “dad she’s an angel” “damn I was really hoping she would be a bad influence”
my favourite legend from the norse mythology is when a giant steals mjolnir and says he’ll give it back if he can have Freyja as his bride, but she refuses to go so instead Thor dresses up as her and Loki as her handmaiden and then at the wedding the giant places mjolnir in his bride’s (thor) lap and thor reveals himself and kills everybody and if that shouldn’t be made a short film with I don’t know what should
comment from a person on youtube whose name i don’t remember.
this is how you make “gay jokes” folks
having two parents of any gender would suck because when u need one of them you’d be like “mom” and the wrong one will reply and you have to go “not you the OTHER one” and thats why if i marry a girl and we have kids she can be mom and i will be optimus prime
As promised, here are some pictures of Lyalya’s first walk outside! Look at the bushy little squirrel tail :D the sandpit was her favorite spot! She was extremely excited and threw sand all over the place
this is a fucking squirrel. this is a fucking squirrel with a cat’s head. who is responsible for this
send this to your crush without any context